Who do you want to be today?
Technically, the answer should always be “myself”. But which version of yourself?
How do YOU want to show up? What role do you want to take? Which experience do you want to create for yourself or others?
You see, it can often be very useful to set an intention for how you want to show up. Which sides of yourself you want to let dominate your choices and your behavior.
When we set a strong intention, we prime our minds to look for opportunities to live up to that intention. But instead of doing this, most people simply show up without an intention and hope that their circumstances will give them the experiences they want.
They might be going to a party with friends. They might hope that there will be some nice people there that will help them have fun. Maybe that they’ll meet an attractive stranger that will show an interest in them. That the party, the people, the activities will make it a fun night.
But when that is our attitude, you leave it up to other people and random circumstances to dictate our results.
Who am I today?
Personally, I like influencing my results directly, because that’s by far the most reliable way to get the experiences I want.
So I set my intentions. I take a little time to think about what kind of experience I want, and which part of my personality is most likely to create those experiences.
Later today I’m going to a 4th of July party with my American friends. We’ll be bbq’ing, spending time by the pool and then go see the fireworks somewhere with a lot of strangers.
Today I’d like to laugh. I’d like to have a fun, playful, and silly day with my friends – and whichever interesting strangers we might meet later.
So today I want to show up as Playful TJ. This means that I will show up at the party with the intention of having fun in the ways I enjoy having fun. It might include telling stories, asking silly questions, teasing, playing games, and so on.
I don’t know yet, because I’m not planning out my activities – I’m simply setting my intention: To have fun with as many things and people as possible. To look for the funny, and highlight it when I find it.
Meanwhile, on Saturday when I travel to San Francisco to help some friends with a huge show they’re doing – I’m likely to have a different intention. To show up as a leader that will help get things done, to be professional, to be effective.
At least until the work is done and the actual show starts and my friends will all be busy and I’ll be surrounded by the thousands of people in the audience. At which point I’m more likely to want the experience of adventure and new connections, so I’ll show up as the TJ who likes to create those.
It’s not about changing your personality. It’s not about pretending. It’s about putting your intention and energy into using the parts of your personality that is most likely to get you the experiences you want.
To make your decisions in line with that part of you. To let your decisions on what to do and say come from the part of your personality that’s most likely to create the result you want.
Make a habit out of this, and you’ll soon start to have more and more of the experiences you want.
PS: If you want to learn how to build the social confidence and skills to take on whichever part of yourself you’d like, check out my online courses.